Tag Archives: Fat

Blog Diet Tip # 1: Fat People

They come in many shapes and many sizes. You probably know a few of them. You might even be friends with them. But there is one thing you don’t want to become: one of them.

Being fat sucks. I don’t care if they supersize the world by making seats bigger, deodorant stronger, and distances shorter. It will always suck to be fat and no matter how “fattist” that is, it’s true and there’s no way around it.

“But she’s so nice!” or “He’s so funny!” There’s always the “*” the indirect object of the sentence. The “you understood” that is a “fat understood.”

Ok, I get it. Sometimes it’s hard. You get a job where you sit at a desk or you drive a truck or whatever – basically you don’t move a lot. But you know what, you don’t have to eat that bag of chips. And low fat or 0 calorie snacks are lies, lies! Stop snacking! Take up smoking or chew nicotine gum instead. You don’t constantly need to be stuffing your face with “comfort food” to help you through your lamentable situation/life. That’s what is making you fat and making things worse for you anyway so drink some water instead.

And why are there so many fat sports fans?

Athletic ability and toned bodies can’t be achieved through osmosis. If that were the case I would tell every fat person to glue themselves to the TV this summer for the Olympics. Unfortunately, to lose weight and/or not gain it, people need to move about.

The point is, there is no greater motivator for losing weight or maintaining your weight than looking at those who have for whatever reason failed miserably at maintaining a healthy weight. And guess what, America (and surprise contender Australia) aren’t alone here. That’s right Europe. I’m talking to you.

Please leave all negative and “you’re a mean nasty anti-fat-ite” comments in , well, the comments.

Extra: George Carlin (R.I.P.) on Fat People